STATUTORY WARNING
Smoking is injurious to health. No man or animal has been abused in this Post.
Growing up, I am sure your mother, too, gave you the following advice:
Behave yourself
Watch your step
Three magic words
Please share anything else that you got in addition to the above with me.
These were profound ones, and I am sure we all considered them mundane, especially the first two, while the last one followed to the last T. Of course, some of us. But eventually, we practised them when scolded by our peers or bosses at work or even by our children.
We thought that advice - watch your step - was about what care one should take while walking on the streets. But the essence of that advice got lost on most of us. Perhaps it was also related to the 7 steps that one takes in an Indian wedding. It was for being sure what you were doing was right when you ventured in. If not, there was a get-away in the 7th step. Rarely one has exercised that option and cruised through the married life boldly. But, generally speaking, the mother also meant the care one should take in all our life's dealings. Else dire consequences wait for you.
Behave yourself; we thought it was part of three magic words, and we mostly followed it. But instead, it was about practising ethics in life or complying with the laws. Else the result would be most disastrous. The advice, generally given by the father or grandfather, was relevant in this area. Now, which one was that?
That's right! Beware of those devils in black. We generally spot one at the railway stations checking tickets to ensure you comply with the law. The other tries to save you from the punishment or even drags you in court corridors for the rest of your life. The black coat has become a special and dominating motif of their respective work or profession.
The guy at the railway station is as tricky as a fox. He sometimes dons the black coat, and other times, he camouflages with the crowd. Unless you match his nuances with an attitude and scoot, he gets you unaware. Luck favours the brave, as is said! Stupid braveness is suicidal, though. But not always, you know. If you wear your confidence on the sleeve, unbeknown to him, you can sail through! How?
In strict confidence, I must share with you at least two instances. Once, I had forgotten to renew my travel pass for a suburban train ride and had travelled without it for almost two months. Once realised, I promptly restored it. I had my travel pass on a second occasion, but my colleague didn't. The moment he saw the guy in the black, he turned ashen. So I said the day isn't lost; at the count of three, just run in the other direction while I run past that guy. And he caught me. Promptly, I flashed my travel pass. Shocked, he asked me why was I then running? He let me go as soon as I told him to grab a cab!
But yes, many times, he does help the elderly to board the train, lends a hand to move your luggage, allot a seat on a long journey or rise to any emergency during your travel. But be cautious. You may not know who is behind those black layers.
The other intelligent guy with a flourish of language is helpful but dangerous and, at times, can make you poorer by dragging your court case long. Well, there are a few messiahs in black coats! It does not matter what their profession is about so long their activities, style, and attitude are on the same parity.
I don't know what has been your experience with these sermons, and I would be glad to learn from you. Soon!
Let me share some funny and not so funny tales of Kabhi Good, Kabhi Bad Guy - some call him a lawyer, Advocate, pleader or solicitor. All the same. However well-dressed he is, he rarely smiles, drags or runs with a bundle of papers and a black gown, negotiating the rush hour traffic to the courts. Sometimes, an assistant in the toe or just like a marathoner cruising alone. Well, life isn't easy for him either. Fronting you, at times, receives brick-bats from the judges on your behalf.
Let us peel that black coat, layer by layer :
His business name is confusing - He uses his name or some other word followed by: & Co, & Partners or & Associates, etc. It doesn't make any sense. Some firms carry Latin words or family names, and some have as long as a mini train. For instance, M/s Mulla & Mulla and Craigie Blunt & Careo; M/s Amarchand & Mangaldas and Suresh A. Shroff & Co. This law firm in USA - M/s Ziffren, Brittenham, Branca, Fischer, Gilbert-Lurie, Stiffelman, Cook, Johnson, Lande & Wolf - am told, has the longest name!
This reminds me of some yesteryear Hindi movies like - Albert Pinto Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai, Dulhan Wohi Jo Piya Mann Bhaye or Raja Ko Rani Se Pyar Ho Gaya. I can't say who influenced whom.
But wait. A few law firms carry funny names, too!! Like, Wisdom Law, First Legal, and Hilltop Legal Lounge. There are plenty of such firms around. And some consultants coin names and sell ideas to name your law firm child.
Just as in a corporate setting, law firms have a hierarchy with designations such as Associate, Senior Associate, Associate Partner, Principal, Principal Assistant, Partner. The new additional layer is Assistant Managing Partner and Deputy Managing Partner. Of course, lastly, the Managing Partner. Some have a COO, CEO, Director of Corporate Relations or a Business Development Manager. Recently, I was shocked to learn that a guy who was the managing director of a few top MNCs dealing in FMCG joined an obscure law firm as its CEO. Probably, he couldn't chew the gum better and left.
This tail boosts the image and tells another tale. But before that,
And then, there are independent business developers who camouflage advertising by arranging talk shows and speaking opportunities. But, of course, that tall guy in Little & Co knows better! Btw, is there a tall guy in there?
Baffled, you then search the web and find some unknown name, his charges and engage them for your problem. Be cautious. A few claim 50 offices across India and put them up on their website, where they have just one independent representative, perhaps an intern or a fresher, who does nothing. Alternatively, embark on an unknown journey to the destination with a known devil!
He is a man of few words with you, more at the court, a light at heart but heavy on your purse. You get angry when he shares a tea & cigarette with the opponent's lawyer and doesn't brief you fully on the court proceedings. He will fling a few Latin words at you or some sections of the law most of the time. Finally, so overwhelmed that you are with all this, you lose sleep and get nightmares of someone waiting at the door to haul you up to jail.
He loves his brethren, so he gets them aboard - an assistant, a junior, and a senior counsel at your costs. An invoice for the fees of his assistant, himself and expenses towards photocopying, files, stamps, conveyance and unknown 'miscellaneous expenses' will be promptly at your table.
The meeting with senior counsels is a tail in itself.
A meeting with a senior counsel is called a 'conference' and not a meeting.
Look around the place carefully. For example, the chairs might be full of papers scattered around.
A chair is reserved for his pet dog or cat, which will join the conference once you log in. There is nothing aww about it!
Do not grumble about the odour or the fur sticking to your dark coloured trouser. Do that to spoil your case, yet pay senior counsel's hefty fees.
I haven't seen any senior counsel having a parakeet attending the conference. But, be careful. That bird will be a 'little birdie' telling tales around!
Generally speaking, get to know from where your beverage, at least in the Fort area of Mumbai, is sourced. Most likely, it is sourced from a street vendor. Try to avoid it unless you are a game for it! A little birdie tells me that when a Spanish client brought cases of exquisite wine for the firm's owner, he was offered a black tea sourced from a street vendor. He could have picked one bottle from the case for himself if he had known beforehand!
You are lucky. These days a Starbucks or a good restaurant is at every corner - finding a clean washroom on the court premises is a nightmare.
But no. You do not pay any heed to the sane advice of your parents and either keep flouting laws or hauling up others to the court. Or even make a jail trip yourself.
But yes. There is truth in saying angels do tread the earth!
Before I say, Ciao