Life is Intriguing.
Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels
Life is very intriguing. And everyone will agree with it. Isn't it? But when we ponder, we will have a mountain of things that we find challenging to lead our lives peacefully. Right?
When we break down that mountain of things, one by one, right from our childhood to this adult life, the most challenging thing that tops this mountain is about asking what we want. Yes. As a kid, asking for a pizza, a lovely doll or a toy car. Indeed, we were scared or cautious when and how to ask our parents and get that successfully!
As we grew older, in school or college and at the workplace everywhere, we were baffled by the situation and did not ask what we wanted. But there was always a way out, perhaps because some people found it easy to get what they wanted.
We find ourselves in the workplace pyramid - many at the bottom, some in the middle, top middle, and a very few at the top.Â
Agreed some skill sets are to be learned while some are inherent in each personality though lie dormant. And we hit a barrier or a brick wall when it comes to displaying that skill at the workplace.Â
"The brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Sometimes, the most impenetrable are made of flesh." says Randy Pausch in his book The Last Lecture.
It is here that skill of asking - not just asking but how to ask comes to play. But, before we do that, we must remember to use our performance skill sets in what we do prominently.Â
In the words of Randy Pausch, "Have something to bring to the table, because that will make you more welcome. It just proves that if you can find an opening, you can probably find a way to float through it."
Be it for a transfer to another group or a department, for extra increment or incentive that you deserve, challenging work assignment or whatever. Practising how to ask, to whom & what exactly you want, more importantly, when to ask is a skill and can be mastered to achieve your personal goals.Â
"For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it will be opened" - Matthew 7:7-8
Alladin & Genie story as a metaphor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen wrote a fascinating book 'The Alladin Factor'. Answering the questions that bogged us down elaborately, the authors identified five barriers we generally face when asking. If we succeed in overcoming these barriers, they say, success will be at our doorstep. Here are those barriers :
Ignorance that we could even ask.
The erroneous belief that the grantor knows what we want so, why ask?
Fear of receiving wrong or damaging answers/reaction/humiliation.
Pride -building resentment towards people in life.
Low Self Esteem - Not feeling worthy of asking & receiving help that we need.
Life changes drastically in minutes, and in such circumstances, it is vital to have a positive attitude which is a key to the untapped incredible powers that each of us has. So let us overcome these barriers.
So here is to you. Cheers!
It is often said " Ignorance is a bliss" but the article proves that sometimes ignorance may put someone in an abysmal pitfall from which it would be difficult to extricate. Keeping mum instead of asking a question at the right moment may further complicate the situation . Very much liked an untouched topic.Go ahead Bro!!
Great read Sir.. I totally agree that 'when to ask' is many a times a deciding factor in a corporate world. At home you may get multiple opportunities to ask, but not so in the corporate world. It therefore becomes imperative to be 'first time right' in knowing 'when to ask'.